Friday, July 18, 2014

Asiatic lilies & more

This is a new Asiatic lily...I have had it planted for at least 3 years.  I have it planted right up against the house almost.  I thought it was safe there.  This is the first year it has bloomed...seems like something has happened every year up until this one.

I heard Roger yell yesterday.  And he was flying out the door...said the kids were destroying my flowers.  He asked them what they thought they were doing, and the older girl was just going to go on down the sidewalk as if she had done nothing.  She is 7....he said 'Get back here young lady!'  And sent them home and followed them and told their mom they had just destroyed these flowers.  (And they had pulled off all the blooms, on one of the plants, but left rest of the bloom pods, but the other one only had one bloom pod left and it had not had any open yet.)

I was outside by then and sitting down...just so upset I was shaking.  But wait, you don't know the entire story.  I had Asiatic lilies blooming earlier out by the road, and these same kids pulled off every flower but about there.  I talked to the older one enough, till I thought she understood...and she promised to leave my flowers alone.  Later those blooms were gone...but cannot say for sure that they got them.

Well, I heard her mom telling her to come tell me she was sorry...this may be mean but I do not want an empty apology.  I want them to straighten up and fly right.  I came in the house, knowing I did not want to talk to her at all.  But she came and knocked on the door...and her mom was standing out on the sidewalk.  The 7 yr old said,  'I'm sorry."

I told her to go home, that I did not want to see her...did not want her in my yard.  The boy is 4 and the girl is 7, and you cannot talk to them.  If I had not talked till before till I was blue in the face, I would have tried again.  But they are not disciplined at home...she told me she had to threaten them with calling their aunt...

The day she was telling me that amd all the while I am talking to her, the kids have a styrafoam cup and are tearing it up. She was telling them to stop, but not enforcing it.  She talked a few minutes and said to the kids, 'come on, lets go home.'  I told the kids, "Hold on, get all that stuff picked up!'  And she got in and helped them.  If I had not said anything, she would have just left it.  Scattered all over.

Roger has had the garage open the past few days...had the bay doors open and all.  And I was out trying to clean up some other stuff, and if I told them once, I told them a dozen times between the two to stay out of the garage.  About the dozenth time, I had just told the 4 yr old to get out and stay out.and he come running back in before I even got gone.  Did I ever yell then...and his mom heard me. 

In our part of the garage where we park, there is just too much they could knock down and get hurt.  I tried explaining that to the mom and she cannot even stay focused long enough to hear me out.  Then as far as Roger's shop is concerned, they are always barefoot, and there is metal shavings, and who knows what on the floor in there.  Besides the dangerous tools. 

The bad thing is, I really would enjoy them if they were not so destructive...they just try to destroy my dogwood tree...the boy had broken one of my coneflowers...Roger does not even know about that one.  I have enough of them till I don't really miss it.  He likes to start digging in our yard.  Though I didn't see them do it, they got in our mail.  I know it was them, cause I can hardly keep the 4 yr old away from the mailbox.  Some of it was laying on the little table out there, an insurance statement had been opened but was stuck back in the mailbox.

They come over here and are in our yard and on our porches...as if it were theirs.  We will be in the house, and they don't even know if we are home or gone.  Again, I wouldn't mind if they were not destructive.   But who lets their kids just roam around in other people's yards and on their porches.

I have not seen them out since that happened yesterday....I was a case all day.  Was shaky for a long time...not from anger but just cause it is so upsetting.  And Lorelei has loved to play with them, but again, there is the destructive issue...and also, the older one can be kind of mean.  She will come over and then won't play with Lorelei.  And again, they won't listen as far as me telling them not to do something.  I tell them to stay in the front yard where I can see them, and they still want to take off to the back.  Or if we are in the back yard, they will want to go to the front.

So, that is my current issue.  We should be heading out to get Lorelei here shortly!   If the kids ever come back out, and try to come over here, I am not sure how I will handle it.   I hate feeling this way towards kids...towards neighbors. 

Edited to add:  Ginny made the suggestion of being nice to them....well, we have did that from the time we met them.  Popsicles, drinks, whatever Lo has they have, and even when she is not here, I give them treats.  But no, not in the house.  Just too destructive.

9 comments:

Sandra said...

for some reason i thought you were way out in the country with no near neighbors... it is a problem and i have no advice...

Betsy Adams said...

That is HORRIBLE... I hear from school teachers how HORRIBLE some kids are these days... No discipline or rules coming from home at all....

Don't know what to tell you but here are a few thoughts:
-Put up a fence around your yard to keep them out.
-Report them to the 'authorities' ---and have someone officially visit that home... Is the mother on drugs???? Sounds like she needs some serious help.
-Do NOT let Lorelei play with them... Bad influence on here for sure!

Sad situation --but I would do what I 'had' to do to get some peace...

Love your photo of your lily...

Love and PRAYERS for you all,
Betsy

Ginny said...

This is an awful problem and I totally sympathize. It seems that the mom has raised them this way and she is not so sharp herself. Remember the old saying "You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"? It seems they may be doing all this to get attention, even if it is the bad kind. Since nothing else has worked, what if you start being really nice, taking them in for cookies and milk and such? If they get good attention, and come to like you, they may not feel the need to destroy all your things. But even so, it is very disturbing.

Cheryl @ TFD said...

I'm sorry about your flowers. The lily is beautiful. I wish I had some good advice for you. You can't discipline kids anymore, especially other's kids, and it's hard to tell them anything because they just turn a deaf ear. My daughter has worked in the childcare field all her life and is now a director at her school so I've heard a lot of stories about misbehaved kids. Have you ever been cussed out by a 3 year old? It's amazing what the kids are saying and doing these days. And, it's mostly because there is no guidance at home. I tend to agree with Betsy and wouldn't let Lorelei play with them. I'm afraid their bad behavior might rub off.
Have a nice weekend and enjoy your time with Lorelei!

Michelle said...

I am so sorry you are having to deal with these neighbors. As a teacher I can tell you that so many children, like your neighbors, have absolutely no discipline in their lives. I agree with Betsy, maybe social services needs to get involved. Maybe there are others problems in their home.

Small City Scenes said...

Well the only advice I have might be illegal. LOL! I don't know what is the matter with some people. the Mother doesn't seem all that bright so goes the children. I sometimes felt we over disciplined our children but then again they were very good and turned out as very nice adults.
I feel your pain but don't know what you can do. Should Lorelei play with them---probably not.
Good luck! MB

Lynne said...

Very sad . . . not sure I have any suggestions . . . I wonder where that kind of disregard/disrespect is born . . . most children have a "I know better sense" about themselves. Doesn't sound like they do . . .

The more boundaries you can present, the better for you, them and for Lorelei . . .

So sad to destruct your beautiful Asiatic Lilies . . .

thirtysevenandcounting said...

I am speechless. This just makes me sick to think that mother can't control her young children. And to be tampering with your mail, as well!

Hugs to you. I pray this is the end of it.

Lindy

Mary said...

What a sad situation for everyone. I'm sorry you have to put up with it. I think that I would speak to the mail person about them messing with my mail and see if I could make some arrangement where they could not get it. Your lily is very beautiful and I can imagine how frustrating this must be for you.

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