It has been a stressful week for us....if you don't feel like reading, just know that it was good news. The new med for Roger did succeed in stopping the anxiety/panic attacks. And the CT scan was done this past Monday.
We both had appointments with dermatologists on Wednesday. They are at the same place but with different doctors. I stressed about how that was going to work out, since Roger does not have much short term memory. But they are so kind and so good, she staggered them till I could be in the room with him. He really isn't having much breaking out now. Every now and then a little patch will pop up....but nothing terrible. So, she told me how to use his meds...when he originally got them, I was not with him. He could not remember how they were supposed to be used.
Then it was my turn. I have had three spots of basal cell cancer on my face, so I get worried about things that don't heal. I had a spot come, and it has been getting bigger...but keep in mind that it started as not much more than the head of straight pin, and grew to about a quarter of an inch. And every time I washed my face, there would be a fresh bloody little scab come.
Well, she looked at it and gave it a name, said she didn't think she needed to do a biopsy because it wasn't cancer, and froze it off plus a couple or three other places. I was so relieved, and thankful I could have cried. I had not told Roger I was worried, but with putting sunscreen on my face, I have to look at my face every day...and I just wish I could avoid it.
We then seen our nurse practitioner Friday and got the news about the scan--nothing had changed, no new bleeds nothing going on there. So that was a relief. So thankful for answered prayers.
I don't get the fearful feelings quite like I used to...this one friend of Roger's always told me the Good Lord was not done with Roger yet...he seemed to have no doubt that Roger would make it through.
Then I get to thinking about when I had him to the ER in February, the nurse that had him that day, had been there when he had the brain bleed. And he told us that Somebody was on our side, because the helicopter had been in the area doing some training and they did not have to wait on it to get here. So the Lord has been good to us...
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A year ago Roger had a TIA(mini-stroke)...on our anniversary. Technically that was yesterday. He had the stroke August 2nd. I try not to dwell on it....but oh, what a time that was. I am so thankful to still have time with him. When he was in the hospital I stayed some nights with my brother and then in his room; in rehab I would come home at night...I would often cry most of the way home...I would cry because it was a beautiful sunset, or beautiful sky and he couldn't be there to see it with me. I wondered would we ever get to go on another drive together. I wondered would I ever feel his arms around me....would he ever come to himself.
And he has....somethings are really slow coming, but little things keep improving. At first he didn't have much interest in TV, then, he started watching it but couldn't quite use the remote....now he has it figured out and can turn the TV on and off, and find what he wants. He still doesn't do much on the computer, but he does get on Youtube and find videos to watch while he rides the stationary bike. So things keep improving...
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I heard these guys, Future Islands, on Austin City Limits tonight...they have a decidedly different sound. And two or three of their songs really sound alike. I almost changed channels but for some reason, I didn't. I really like this song...the words to it are below the video.
"Ran"
Ingest, where it goes, nobody sees but me
So perfect and so sweet
But the rest, feels incomplete
Like the rabbit's foot I keep
In the locket, with no key
And I can't take it, I can't take this world without
This world without you
I can't take it, I can't take it on my own
On my own
On these roads
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold
Ran round the wailing world
And what's a song without you?
When every song I write is about you
When I can't hold myself without you
And I can't change the day I found you
On these roads
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold
Ran round the wailing world
So perfect and so sweet
But the rest, feels incomplete
Like the rabbit's foot I keep
In the locket, with no key
And I can't take it, I can't take this world without
This world without you
I can't take it, I can't take it on my own
On my own
On these roads
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold
Ran round the wailing world
And what's a song without you?
When every song I write is about you
When I can't hold myself without you
And I can't change the day I found you
On these roads
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold
Ran round the wailing world
I am so glad things are doing better for you!!! It is way past time to stop fearing, and relax. And I sure hope you can. But the bad memories are such a shadow. I like this song, both words and music!
ReplyDeleteHello Rose!:) You have been through some anxious times, and I truly feel for you, and am so glad things have improved, and your worst fears were unfounded, about your skin condition. I do hope you will both continue to keep well. All the best.:)
ReplyDeleteSo many memories are brought back when I read your post. I'm glad Roger is better and he can improve more and more. Take care of yourself too.
ReplyDeleteIch freue mich für Dich und mit Dir, dass die Flecken in Deinem Gesicht kein Krebs waren!
ReplyDeleteUnd ich drücke Die Daumen, ganz fest! dass es bei Euch weiter bergauf geht. Das die Entwicklung gute Schritte macht!
Alles Liebe
Heidi
I like the song, it is playing as I type. and glad you put the words. they say a lot about how I feel and I know how you feel because we both are survivors of TIA and the following issues. now that you mention it, bob has had some problems with the remote, not a lot but some and I have not seen him on this desk top since the TIA... I can tell you I look at life through a different lens since the fright of the TIA.. Roger was much worse than Bob but lots of similarity. and life without our hubbies is unfathomable.. love you
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is hard to look for the happy moments, the joy, the strength. I seek all every day. But it is hard. I am praying for Y'all.
ReplyDeleteMany prayers, and {hugs} to you both.
When you love someone so much and your world revolves around them, it's hard when they become ill. Hard not too worry about the future. Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI had a "thing" removed from my face. I think you can see it in my profile pic. the doc called it Seborrheic Keratosis. Why do our lives seem to run in parallels.
xx, Carol
Dear Rose-
ReplyDeleteYou are in our thoughts and prayers.
All the best with everything.
Nice video, BTW!
Have a Happy Day & Week ahead!
Peace :)
Hi Rose, I am so glad things have gotten better for you and Roger. What a year you have had and am glad to know the worst is behind you. Big hugs for you both xox :)
ReplyDeleteIt is so good to hear that there is improvement.It may be slower than you like but at least it's coming.I know I don't have to remind you to cherish every little moment.
ReplyDeleteOh I am happy to hear the good news about Roger. Prayers have been answered!!
ReplyDeleteAlso glad to hear the results of your doctors visit too.
Will continue praying for the both of you.
Any specific thing I can pray for?
...keep on plugging along, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI am very thankful for answered prayers for you both. I enjoyed the video and the lyrics very much. I continue to pray for you both. Sending my love.
ReplyDeleteIt is always good to get good news. Glad things are working out although maybe slower than you'd like. Enjoy tomorrows sunrise and sunset. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanking God for the good reports!
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you are both having some good reports. Breathe!! God is in control.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to read your good news and I enjoyed the video very much. Thanks for including the lyrics. My hearing isn't as good as it used to be and often I can't make out all the words of songs. Take care, Rose, and have a nice week!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear that your news is good.
ReplyDeleteHow I wish I could be there with you and sit in the yard and enjoy being outside. That is how I feel Rose and I don't know what else to say.
ReplyDeleteMB
Dear Rose, I'm sorry life has been so stressful. It's particularly hard when it's the ones we love who are poorly. I'm glad that it's all turned out well for both of you. I can relate to your skin condition. With my Irish skin and sunshine lifestyle in Spain I've had a couple of scares too, and when it's on your face it's especially hard to forget about. Glad they were able to freeze away the problem for you. Wishing you both many happy times ahead, Bonny x
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteGlad things are looking up for you and Roger and you feel
better about all that has dropped on you this past year.
Happy Anniversary to you both!
We have our 39th Aug 3rd. Been reading Sara's Quilt it
is really a good one.
You have had a very stressful year, Rose. I am glad there was good news this past week (I had the same thing with my face this year). And, Happy Anniversary. Your love is so sweet... it shines through this post. May His blessings be on you and your Roger. hugs ~ tanna
ReplyDeleteDear Rose,
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you and for your situation. For the grace to live, to love and to praise, every new day. I don't know you very well because I have not read your blog for so long but am glad to know more about you now! God bless you and your Roger xxx
stress has been a big part of my life lately too. guess we all have it at times. stay strong .. stand strong. lots of big big hugs. ( ;
ReplyDelete"I wondered would I ever feel his arms around me....would he ever come to himself.
ReplyDeleteAnd he has..."
Hope!
The sun still shines.
You and Roger have been in my prayers during all of this... We continue to pray for you both... I am glad that there is improvement and that Roger is finding things to do that he can do and enjoys doing... Glad you got good news from the dermatologist also.. I can imagine how stressful that week was....
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You, my Friend.
Hugs,
Betsy
Seriously, how can you NOT dwell on health? And well-being of loved ones and yourself. You have every right to stress out, but even tho, there is a bigger hand in all this, the outcome was good...that is all that matters.
ReplyDelete